The ants go marching... on vacation

A recent trip to Hamburg reminded me of a favorite German poem to share. Below a translation by the late Ernest A. Seemann, followed by the original Ringelnatz.

The Ants

There once were two ants in Westphalia

Who wanted to go to Australia.

But cursing their feet

In a Belgian street

They gave up the trip as a failya.

Die Ameisen

In Hamburg lebten zwei Ameisen

die wollten nach Australien reisen.

Bei Altona auf der Chaussee

Da taten ihnen die Beine weh.

Und da verzichteten sie weise

Dann auf den letzten Teil der Reise.

More translations of Ringelnatz poems.

The State of the (German) Nation

In the interest of bringing German talent to a non-German audience, I translated a Wise Guys hit from the nineties called "Zur Lage der Nation" ("The State of the Nation"). This song takes German nationalism to a new level: satire. At least one immigrant was amused.
The original German lyrics, by Daniel Dickopf, can be found here, music here.

The State of the Nation
I fear our country has a crumbling foundation.
Too many foreigners, an ever-present grief.
That's why I say let's put a stop to immigration!
Head scarves and minarets don't fit our leitmotif.
Today our IT branch has barely any Germans,
And for that we have the Indians to thank.
What a pity that our own kids aren't a-learnin'
How to get a pretty penny in the bank.

Listen up! The nation needs a face lift.
I've got a plan - perhaps you catch my drift:


We'll put the wall back up tomorrow,
to restore a bit of order.
This one won't cut through the middle,
but instead protect the border.
Then Oktoberfest won't be
just in October anymore
And the riffraff of the world
won't come knocking at our door.
With mashed potatoes, pickled pork,
and sauerkraut galore
We'll celebrate by clapping
to an oom-pah score!

We lost many soccer games against our neighbors
Countless shots, they flew right past our defense.
But no more we'll be denied fruits of our labours,
If we have no foreign teams to play against.
The only problem that remains: Mallorca Island.
We can't live without those sunny, Spanish sands.
But what's to stop us from importing mini-Deutschland?
In the North Sea there is plenty of room to expand!
So listen up! The nation needs a face lift
I've got a plan - perhaps you catch my drift:
We'll put the wall back up tomorrow,
...
Imagine Sushi's out and cauliflower's in.
And the Alps belong to Heidi and kin.
And even Opel might exhibit recov'ry,
In this picture-perfect, modern Germany.
We'll put the wall back up tomorrow,
...

For my niece Cecilia, born today

Hello there, my dear Cecilia
Here you are in a brand new world!
We're glad that you have joined us
(especially cuz you're a girl)

We watched you grow on Blogger,
To your temperament grew wise.
We were wowed as little hiccups
From the uterus met our eyes.

Before you were Cecilia called,
The nickname Chickpea was installed.
As Facebook updates fed us news,
All your stats we had - down pat.
We were indeed insatiable
For Chickpea this and Chickpea that.

Fun as it was to follow your
prenatal track, howe'er wide-eyed,
We longed to kiss your soft, round head,
and are glad you're on the outside!

On this wondrous day of your birth,
Here's some advice, for what it's worth:
Milk your status of being queen,
Before a sibling arrives on the scene.

Take after me, wear what you like,
A dress with rubber boots is nice
and just a diaper would suffice
for romping around - snow or ice.

Your uncle can be a model, too:
Open your heart up, live for you!
Don't let life's setbacks get you down
and if they do, get outa town.

All told, I know your life will be
A tale of wonder unforeseen.
As you live and love, work and grow
Surprised we'll be by where you go.

THE MONICA SONG - now available in English!

(Translated from the original German. See copyright information at the end.)

Monica, hey,
oh had you stayed,
on 'til today,
as an intern in Washington.
and had you fancied to
rendezvous with "W" -
then lickety split, (Wahoo!)
he'd finally be ...on the run.

Because voters are consistent
and not the least indifferent
on the topic of the instant:
moral values and what God allows.
The head-of-state has a green light
to wage some wars, tell a few lies,
and break all diplomatic ties,
if he never breaks his wedding vows.

That set of skirmishes way over in the Gulf States
generates destruction and big deficits,
and yet not the man's impeachment.
There's no fancy out of bounds 'cept - God forbid - he fool around
Modus operandi : "Make war, not love!"
The Prez's Day of Reckoning won't come to be
until he is suspected of adultery.

***

The people'd call out, "Shame on
you. You are a traitor!"
and "Confess at once!" "Betrayal!"
"Our trust in you has hit a low."
Then every detail of the romance
would find its way into the news stands
and from there into the hands
of every gossip, critic, and talk show host.

Then we'd see Ken Starr on replay,
mudslingers in their heyday.
And Iraq and - even - Al Queda,
'd fade from news to history.
We'd see Bush would feel compelled
to hang his head, throw in his towel.
And just think how very swell:
we would all breathe so much easier!

Monica, in your hands you hold the trump card.
The choice is not hard.
The time has come to send him back to Houston.*
I know he may not be your type. But if you say,
"I'll do it if your price is right."
You would get ...
... a flood of contributions!

***

"Fuck Bush," that's what you see,
expressed so candidly,
from Berlin down to Paris,
sprayed on buildings, in alleyways.
I won't say that's in good taste.
I wouldn't say it to his face.
Still I'm begging you, make haste,
Monica, do it anyways.

German lyrics copyright Bodo Wartke 2005. To see the original, go to www.bodowartke.de, then 1. Click on 'Zum Lesen' on the lefthand side, 2. For the second albumn from the top (Live in Berlin) click on 'Titelliste aufrufen,' and 3. Go to track number 28 and click on 'Text anzeigen.' Then learn German!
To hear the melody of the song, look at his performance broadcast on YouTube.

*The capital of Texas is actually Austin, but nevermind.