At the Ausländeramt (municipal immigration office) in Germany everything has its Ablauf (course of events). For example, a snippet of the phone call I just made requesting an appointment (wie means "as in"):
Call center employee: "'U' wie Ulrich?"
Me: "Nein, 'N' wie Nordpol, 'O' wie ... wie ... Oktopus."
Call center employee [impatiently]: "'O' wie Otto?"
Me: "Ja, 'O' wie Otto."
In Germany in general and for civil employees in particular, the Buchstabiertafel (phonetic alphabet) is the emblem of inflexibility. Every letter has only one correct paired word. Failing to use "'O' as in Otto'" is a breach, an insult.
It took me seven minutes and 40 seconds to give my name and telephone number to a call center. (Half the call was spent convincing her she didn't need my street address or my email!) Her only responsibility was to ask the municipal immigration office to call me back.
The craziest part is, I was at the immigration office this morning and sat in the office of the man who issues residency permits for those with surnames beginning with 'R' (as in Richard). He does not give out his own appointments.
So I asked the bouncer at the door where in the building I could make an appointment. Mid-sentence he handed me a card with the call center number. Right - a call center. Not the number for the immigration office, but for a service set up to deliver information to the immigration office on who needs an appointment.
Otto - Martha - Friedrich - Gustav.
(I'm practicing.)
It reminds me of the game Mouse Trap. The objective is to trick foreigners into making a mistake that will cost Bearbeitungsgebühr and leave the immigration office employees and their call center cohorts feeling competent and in control. Unfortunately, there is a small, definitely unwanted but barely addressed side effect: Germany's population is sinking.
1 comment:
When we wanted to get Chickpea a passport, we had a similar experience with the US Post Office. Had to make an appointment, but no one in the actual post office could do that, so we had to call the centralized number to make an appointment for the office we were standing in front of.
And second, sounds like Germany at least has a plan for foreigners to renew their permits. I never got my permesso di soggiorno in Italy, even after navigating the byzantine system that involved talking to surly (even by Italian standards) post office employees, getting a special stamp from a tobacconist, and getting fingerprinted - twice - by the police. All of whom are in different parts of the city. I'm glad I never had to attempt to renew my visa.
Post a Comment