As a corollary to the entry on things that are smaller than life in the US, I have been wanting to talk about German exceptions to the Recht und Ordung rule, i.e., examples of poorly organized, slipshod, or just plain anarchistic.
This desire was inspired by my attempts to get in a bit of exercise at the public swimming pool around the corner from my apartment. The invigorating plunge into the water helps decrease the stress load of an office job, right? Wrong. Not if you don't have any lap lanes, nor any guidelines on sharing space, cuz at 6 pm the pool is filled with throngs of 9-5ers, and all of them carry on oblivious to the others. Zealous athletes end up next to the day dreamy dilly dalliers. Swimmers weave in and out of each others’ paths so often you'd think it was a contra dance. Try in vain to establish a system. Some say, imagine the lap lanes, swim in circles. But others insist on maintaining a straight line, never deviating right or left, even if another swimmer approaches head on.
The second lapse in orderliness lies in a particularly German use* of the comma, Germans might just call it versatility. If you are a native English speaker you noticed that I just let a comma stand in for a full stop, this is the "versatility" I was talking about. Didn't that drive the obsessive compulsive in you crazy? I don't know if it fits the leitmotiv of this blog, but for what it is worth, I think conjunctions contribute to Recht und Ordung.
True anarchy can be best observed, however, in retail establishments with multiple check out lanes. It starts like this: there aren’t enough employees at the register and the lines snake to the back of the store. Then, inconspicuously, the missing worker returns from his or her coffee break and opens up lane 3 or 4. What do the Germans do? Gallantly step back to let pregnant women and those with few items get through speedily? As a matter of course, notify those furthest ahead of the availability of a new check out counter? No. They stand on their tip toes, ready and waiting for the signal that a register could open. When the “Yes, I’m open!” light blinks on it’s like a shot-gun, and every last scoundrel darts to throw his pack of cigarettes on the fresh counter, leaving a few old ladies trampled in his path. It is worth coming for a visit just to witness the madness.
*a legitimate and accepted use
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1 comment:
why, you'd think you were in the USofA! is the grocery store behavior there worse than at the local un-Safeway?
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